about our elephant

Tuesday, June 23

baby on the way! who has a birth-plan??

for those of you who have heard this story (of little Pirate's birth) a time or two (or twelve) please skip on ahead to the next post - sorry for the revisitation. likewise, if you don't wish to read the lovely details of Pirate's entrance to the world, pretend these words aren't even typed and enjoy the surrounding photos.


now where to begin... ah, yes. i by no means had a traumatic birth in comparison to the poor mothers who labor for days on end, almost die due to complications, or perhaps who's baby was in a life-threatening situation. but by regular labor and delivery standards... rather, by regular recovery standards i would count my experience as a not-wonderful one. (putting it gently, huh?)

my total labor and delivery was 3.5 hours long. sounds simple right? no. from the first contraction at 2:30am to the no meds, water-birth of little Pirate at 6:01am, i very quickly realized that labor and delivery was not a fun game. oh no. it was more like death on a stick... or, running (something i hate) from a bear (something much bigger and faster than me) while naked, through the woods (hurts like trash) while covered in honey (super uncomfortable). whew.

okay, okay. maybe not the best explanation.

let's try this: it hurt 10 times worse than kidney stones - and i've had two. some people say they're comparable. this is true in that: you feel like you're dying (well i did)... you're praying to die (again - that may be only me)... you feel like it will NEVER end... you're body is not your own - you have zero control... and the only thing you want in your entire life - in your whole existence - is sweet, sweet relief.

keep in mind my contractions started at 2:30am but we didn't even leave the house until ten 'til 4am. we delivered at 6am - WITH an hour drive to the hospital. by the time we got there at 5am i was dilated to 8cm - already passed transition (on the way we got pulled over AND i threw-up out the window while driving 70mph... yeah. it ran all down the side of hubby's jacked-up suburban ). i didn't even get to enter the water (my "pain med") until 5:30am.

i only pushed for 10 minutes... but that was the really hard part. Pirate's head was 14.5" around and did not mold/cone at all. he basically ripped his way through the birth canal and out. a lot of women tear on the outside - that's common. i tore on the outside and all the way up to my cervix. at my last ob appointment, the midwife told me i have scar tissue on my cervix (for those of you who don't know, the cervix is what dilates to a 10 - it is literally where the baby begins).

all of this rip-age and tear-age (yes, i think i just made up two words, maybe not) took more than a month for my hoohoo to feel okay when i used the restroom, showered, walked, or sat down... and a little more than 8 months to be able to resist crying in agony during sex with hubby (poor, poor hubby). after that, things evened out, though i am still tender at times.

and now to our current predicament...

the more babies you have, the faster they *usually* come. so miggy will most likely be coming faster than Pirate. because i have scar tissue on my cervix i technically could go even faster than that. basically, i'm screwed. i'm desperate to find something to slow me down and i'm thinking that will probably be an epidural.

(i know epidurals can speed you up. however, my mom had 2-hour natural labors and 7-hour labors with an epidural so i'm hoping heredity is in my favor.)

now, if you know me you know of the respect and admiration i have for those who have natural deliveries. i love the strength and courage it takes. i love the empowerment it gives. i love the idea of doing it the way it's always been done. and i really love the idea of a newborn that has come in contact with zero drugs and zero medical interventions. sadly, i don't think it's going to be the best thing for me this go-round.

i'm hoping to begin labor naturally, go to the hospital, with my speed arrive dilated to a 5/6ish get an epidural and maybe be in labor for another 2-3 hours before my baby slowly arrives - in the normal fashion. 1-2 stitches is ideal and 6 weeks of recovery sounds brilliant. haha. yeah. too bad my plans never seem to work out quite like i anticipate.

all-in-all, whatever happens, i will be more than happy when they lay a healthy, strong little baby in my arms. i can't wait. and in 4 (or so) months you'll get to read the lovely details of the birth of miggy. i'm sure you're thrilled.

(this is what it's all about... worth every single second)


  1. Due in 2.5 weeks and hoping for a natural waterbirth...OH boy, I should not have read this.

    But I did.

    "...like death on a stick."

    I think I'll put that one in my pocket and pull it out the first time the hubs asks me "How are you feeling?" during labor.

    I have definitely heard that faster labors can be much, much more painful than slow labors.

    I'll take somewhere inbetween for 800, Alex.

  2. oh sorry dear allison! hope i didn't scare you. i should have added that i LOVED my water-birth!!! loved it! labor itself just really hurts (obviously) and it didn't help that my recovery was so difficult. had the recovery been normal - i would definitely be struggling with whether or not to do a water-birth again.

  3. I planned on having a water birth but the baby came a day before the birth pool got to my house!!!! I also had a SUPER quick labor. As a matter of fact, it's a good thing my midwife's apprentice only lives 20 min from me because I delivered before the midwife could make it to the house. I also worry about quicker second labor, but at least for me, I will be at home and not have to worry about delivering on the side of the road;-)