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Monday, May 3

vent alert - mommyhood in 5 days

there's nothing like an extended work-trip by hubby to remind me of my very fallen, helpless nature.

5 days of 2 babies: 6 meals a day, 2 snacks (or more) a day, 3 naps and 2 bedtimes a day, 2 times of taking one *back* to the bed a day, a million diaper changes, appx. 2 spankings a day, 50 times of running to the potty a day, .5 baths a day, 80 times of "don't make me count to 3" per day, .5 times of changing (or covering up) pee-sheets per day, countless bouncing, singing, praying-for-my-sanity each day, and 5 mornings of waking up wondering when i'll get a a second of peace.

one time of cleaning poop out of my toes.

zero dishes done. zero laundry folded and put away. zero toys picked up. zero floors swept.

one computer crash (and fervent praying that/worrying if my hard-drive was alive).

one sunday to church by myself only to head to the nursing room after the music.

i am exhausted.
i told ty how thankful i am that: 1) he's not in the service, 2) he's never going to divorce me, 3) he'll never die (hahah.)... because i just don't think i could do it on my own. he's been home for 8 hours and my head is still swimming. my body still hurts. i feel like poo.

thank God for husbands. they have absolutely no clue what it does for us when they simply walk through the door. thank God for marriage.

SINGLE PARENTS/VET MOMS - YOU. ARE. MY. HEROS.

this time has made me realize a couple of things.

1) i now, quickly fall into patterns that make me want to stab myself in the aorta... i.e. when stressed, i resort to ways i was raised, that i swore i never would.

2) i think i rely too much on my hubby to "complete me"... i mean, i know we're "one" and all, but he shouldn't have to be around for my life to have balance and for me to feel like i'm accomplishing anything. (there's way more to this but i'll stop here. for now.)

3) how in the world do SAHMs keep their brains moving/growing when it's so easy to fall into the grooves of mindless mommying?? (not that i do things without analyzing, being intentional, etc... but after those choices are made and the routine is set...)

i think i need therapy.

the end.

*sorry for this post. lol. so glad i have you blogger, to share my frustrations with.

3 comments:

  1. been there! felt that! you'll make it, you've got the right attitude!

    wait until they became teenagers. the game totally changes!!!

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  2. hang in there. you are such a good mama to those boys. the mindless part is difficult. I pour myself into a hobby (which for me is cooking/creating in the kitchen) so i bet your crafting helps you keep your mind and hands occupied at times when you can break free from the madness. and man i totally understand about the craziness when hubby is gone. during football season i call myself a football widow b/c joab is gone nearly every night of the week till 8 or 9. long long days.

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  3. BEEN THERE!! I would get so exhausted while Zach was deployed but be really LONELY every night after the kids were in bed that was the worst part for me. I think you do a great job pursueing good parenting with a balance of your interests and hobbies:) Keep up the good work momma ... and start praying for know Z will deploy again in January for several months yay I will have a 3,2, and 1 year old happy day!!

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