5 days of 2 babies: 6 meals a day, 2 snacks (or more) a day, 3 naps and 2 bedtimes a day, 2 times of taking one *back* to the bed a day, a million diaper changes, appx. 2 spankings a day, 50 times of running to the potty a day, .5 baths a day, 80 times of "don't make me count to 3" per day, .5 times of changing (or covering up) pee-sheets per day, countless bouncing, singing, praying-for-my-sanity each day, and 5 mornings of waking up wondering when i'll get a a second of peace.
one time of cleaning poop out of my toes.
zero dishes done. zero laundry folded and put away. zero toys picked up. zero floors swept.
one computer crash (and fervent praying that/worrying if my hard-drive was alive).
one sunday to church by myself only to head to the nursing room after the music.
i am exhausted.
i told ty how thankful i am that: 1) he's not in the service, 2) he's never going to divorce me, 3) he'll never die (hahah.)... because i just don't think i could do it on my own. he's been home for 8 hours and my head is still swimming. my body still hurts. i feel like poo.
thank God for husbands. they have absolutely no clue what it does for us when they simply walk through the door. thank God for marriage.
SINGLE PARENTS/VET MOMS - YOU. ARE. MY. HEROS.
this time has made me realize a couple of things.
1) i now, quickly fall into patterns that make me want to stab myself in the aorta... i.e. when stressed, i resort to ways i was raised, that i swore i never would.
2) i think i rely too much on my hubby to "complete me"... i mean, i know we're "one" and all, but he shouldn't have to be around for my life to have balance and for me to feel like i'm accomplishing anything. (there's way more to this but i'll stop here. for now.)
3) how in the world do SAHMs keep their brains moving/growing when it's so easy to fall into the grooves of mindless mommying?? (not that i do things without analyzing, being intentional, etc... but after those choices are made and the routine is set...)
i think i need therapy.
*sorry for this post. lol. so glad i have you blogger, to share my frustrations with.